PokerTracker

Followed directions, can't connect pgAdminIII because "server won't listen." No firewalls enabled, edited config file, no avail. Version 8.3. Please tell me wtf is going on before I throw my comp.

That sounds like the postgres service isn't running, try: Start > Programs > Postgres > Start Service, then try PGAdmin again.
Which config file did you edit, and what did you do to it?

Tried to start service, Didn't help. I edited the postgresql.conf file that it recommeneded. It suggested that I open all ports by replacing "local host" with " * " That didn't help, so I switched it back.

Is postgres running?
Have a look at Task Manager > Processes; do you see any postgres.exe processes?

Are you using Vista?
Are you running PGAdmin as administrator (like you do with PT3)?

No, I don't see it under task manager. I am using Vista, but it's in safe mode because the HD is f'ed up and it's the only way I can access my comp. I think I am the admin, but not 100% sure.

Running applications as administrator is different to being logged in as administrator.
You need to run all your poker software as administrator for PT3 to work correctly, and I suspect the same applies to PGAdmin since it needs to connect to the postgres service.
Right click the PGAdmin shortcut and choose "Run As Administrator".

Tried running both PGAdmin and Start Service as admin. Still get the server won't listen error.

Please check to make sure your firewall isn't blocking PostgreSQL from starting (the Firewall Troubleshooting Guide may come in handy) as that can cause this sort of problem.

No firewalls are running. McAfee is disabled, as is the windows firewall.

Are you still running in Safe Mode? It's possible that is preventing the postgres service from starting.
Are you able to boot into normal mode even temporarily?